I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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