I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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