in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
