where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
