I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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