My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
