Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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