i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
