i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
