you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
