i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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