she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize