Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
