Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize