she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize