I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize