I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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