the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
