i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
