Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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