I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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