his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
