Pappa wants mamma naked
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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