break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
