Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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