okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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