Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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