I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
