Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
