I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
