i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
