Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Define "chronic" masturbator.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
