I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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