i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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