I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize