sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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