I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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