Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
