im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
