Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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