You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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