So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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