You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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