dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
