garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize