did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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