"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
