Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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