he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
