Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
