We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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