I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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