id be glad to
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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