question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
do herpes really smell.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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