Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
