she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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