Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
whose ass print is on the piano?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize