I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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