Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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