I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
