is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
