Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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