Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
