We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The air was thick with penises
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
