laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
