We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize